March 11, 2022

Sub testimonial

Thank you!

‘I like when she smiles. Adreena never ceases to amaze me. She's always got some interesting project in the works. There's a lot going on inside her mind which is why I keep coming back here. I'm envious of her courage. It takes bravery to risk everything to start a business. You're effective putting your personality on view in the hope that people will like what you have to offer. This is me, this is what I do and I hope that you like it. I'd like to have that courage.

As we drink and catch-up I begin to feel relaxed and offer to massage her feet. My mind begins to wander towards what's about to happen. Will she wear those short leather gloves that I like? Will she let me lick wine from her midriff? How far will she push me? I'm getting excited now! I need to come back a bit. There's long way to go this afternoon.

And the session begins. Once the talking stops I can let her music flood into my brain. All of the thoughts that usually drown my mind are soaked up by the ecstacy of feeling her. I don't mean just the touch of her body but I can feel her mind getting inside mine. It takes a few seconds but we quickly meld and I stare into her eyes. I've never seen eyes that have so much depth. Every time I visit her I come away thinking that there's so much going on in her mind that I'll never get a chance to explore. My hand runs along her arm until it reaches her hand and she gently squeezes. Of all the things that we've done together this little gesture always makes me happy. It makes me feel safe and part of something special. I've visited pro-Dommes before but it was never like this. It was more mechanical. Manufactured even. When I was with those women I began to wonder if it was a simple matter of aesthetic - that I was just attracted to a beautiful woman wearing leather boots and gloves. Maybe I wasn't submissive at all because the reality never matched what I was expecting. It changed when I met Adreena. There was a warmth about the way she welcomed me into her studio. I've always thought that when someone allows you to hold their hand then they're inviting you in. Yes, I'm happy to be in your company and I'd like you to stay. Feeling her hand squeeze mine makes me relax. I can explore now. My tongue wanders along her body, searching out the places that I know she likes. I keep contact with her eyes. Every time I see her pupils dilate it makes my heart beat faster.

I can't explain why I feel the need to submit to another person. I've tried analysing it. I've read the thoughts of Jung and others but I've never quite figured out why I feel happy doing this. Maybe it's a combination of things. I'm shy and slightly introvert but it's not always like this. I don't automatically submit when dating other women. Most expect me to take the lead and I'm generally happy to do so although I must admit to getting quite excited when dating someone who likes to be in control. Maybe it's a desire to show how much I respect her. My current theory is that I'm a bit of an explorer by nature and I get excited about exploring the mind of someone who likes to take control.

Now I find myself kneeling at her suspension frame. She's secured my wrists to either side of the frame. She slowly walks up behind me and pull my head back until I'm looking up at her. She gags my mouth. I've always been enormously aroused by the site of a woman gagging a man. She's taking away his senses, his freedom. Reducing him to something less than what he is. Asserting her control and dominance over him. She walks towards her whip rack. As she contemplates what to select I prepare myself for what's to come. I'm not a masochist by any means but I've come to enjoy this part of the session. I enjoy being pushed. It's my way of showing appreciation appreciation for the pleasure of exploring her body. I can feel her cane across my ass. The pain is intense but I won't give in. At least not yet. I try to crawl away with what little freedom I have left but her hand grabs my hair and she pulls me back. Her body is pressed against my back. I can feel her tongue run along my face as she continues to hit me. She's teasing me now. Taunting me with the fact that I can't escape from her.

The reward is equally as intense as the pain. She sits on the bed as I crawl to her. She opens her body up and invites me to explore. Three years ago I would have declined the invite. I was new to her and she was new to me. I didn't want to take liberties with her and I wasn't sure what to do. But we've shared a lot since then and these days she's one of the most important people in my life. I'm never sure if she realises just how much of an impact and she's had on my life and how important she is to me. She's the woman who made lockdown bearable and gave me something to look forward to when the world was shut down. I thought I helped her during that period but if I'm being honest she probably carried me through those long boring days. That's why I'm not nervous anymore. Well, that's not quite true but I'm better than what I was! I run my teeth along her neck, stopping to take a nibble from time to time. I always try to hold her hand and maintain eye contact as I play. I love the feeling when she squeezes.

As I approach her face I stop and press my forehead against hers. As I gaze into her eyes my mind starts to wander. Sometimes this happens to me during sessions and she always asks me what I'm thinking about. Generally I'm thinking about how lucky I am. I never expected to be doing these things with her. I was close to giving up on my search for a meaningful BDSM  relationship but I held in there until I found the one for me. Sometimes I'm thinking about what going through her mind as she stares back at me.

I soon come back to the moment and continue my exploration of her body. She's on top of me now, naturally. Her mouth is close to mine, her hands have pinned mine to the bed. Slowly, she moves them towards my throat and clasps them firmly. There's something beautiful about handing control of your life to someone who you trust. It's exciting but not scary. Her legs squeeze my body. She's starting to get intense now. I can see it in her eyes. Her grip gets tighter but I don't want fight it. ‘